"Reality" T.V. The bad and the ugly. No good can come of this.

When I was a little bitty baby my mamma would rock me in the cradle. Ok, not in them old cotton fields back home, but in front of the television, henceforth know as the T.V. From the gospel of Rick Springfield "God bless the house, the car, and the T.V." Amen, brotha. Radio with pictures! It's gonna destroy the cinema! (Sorry, Dad. It didn't.) Those cathode rays coming out of the T.V. are gonna make you blind if you sit too close! (Sorry, Mom. They didn't. Other things did, but that's another story.)
The first flickering black and white images to which I was exposed, danced out of a little (by today's standards) portable T.V. set up in the living room on an old card table in the house in which I grew up. Heckle and Jeckle (a pair of precocious magpies who flew off together every Saturday morning looking for trouble...and hi-jinx ensued) were among the first characters from T.V. land I ever remember entertaining me, aside from my own family. It was magical! And, no, I wasn't one of those idiot kids who thought all these characters lived inside the T.V. Now, THOSE were the kids who needed help. I don't ever remember NOT understanding the T.V. and it's place on the entertainment landscape. I know that sounds "deep" for a kid, but I grew up with a movie theatre background. I knew something about film and sound. I had seen actual celluloid and I had seen the big speakers cleverly hidden about the theatre. I HAD paid attention to the man behind the curtain. Yes, I learned a lot about movies and T.V. As far as I was concerned, they were interchangeable. Sets, scripts, actors, writers, musicians...THAT'S entertainment. Even today, bottom line, I still like to be ENTERTAINED!
Fast forward 25 years.
If I had a time machine I would have gone back to the late eighties or early nineties or whenever the hell it was, and KILLED The Real World. (Much like going back in time and killing baby Hitler) The evil spawn that is reality T.V. came from the demon seed of The Real World. That is my theory and I'm sticking to it. So hear me out.
"But, Tag! Reality T.V. started with Candid Camera in the sixties!" Yeah, I've heard THAT one before. I'm not buying it. Back then, Mr. Guy On The Street was presented with an unusual event, Alan Fundt filmed his reaction to said event, and everyone had a chuckle and went along their merry way. No one was standing in long lines for hours, backstabbing, conniving, or doing pretty much anything to be on T.V. and be famous for fifteen minutes (Andy, you were so right...but it's turned on us) or trying to cash in those fifteen for fame and fortune and a long-lasting career being a STAR! Yeah, right. Quick...Third season of Road Rules...What was the name of the little blonde gal who had auditioned for a T.V. sitcom pilot and was SURE she was gonna get it? Bueller? Bueller? I didn't think so.
Ok, ok! Ashton Kutcher IS kinda kickin' it old school with Punked (or Punk'd or Pu'n'k'e'd or however the hell you spell it). I'll give him THAT. It does hearken back a bit to Candid Camera. I see what he's doing. I still don't watch it.
Also, one of the branches on this diseased "tree of reality" is American Idol. Or as I like to call it...Amateur Hour. By the way, read my rant on today's music in my last post. The part about paying dues applies here, too. Good. Now I don't have to write that again.
Ok, again, I want to be ENTERTAINED. What I DON'T want is to watch the process of these idiots BECOMING entertainers. We're gonna sit here and watch a show about MAKING a band? What's next, a show about little Billy taking piano lessons in grade school? Clarinet lessons? How far back do we have to go? It IS hard. I was there for a time, too. I just don't want to relive the whole process. I had a tough enough time dealing with the mental-midgets in my OWN bands. Just quit your whining, go knock on doors, make a CD, sing me a song. ENTERTAIN me! If I like it, I'll buy it. Simple.
Changing gears for a moment. The producers. I actually have to hand it to the producers of these reality shows. They are financial and marketing geniuses. Rent a nice house somewhere (or warehouse), get a diverse (must be diverse) group of people, draw some stupid stunts on a napkin, throw in a couple of camera men (Ok, camera people!) My apologies to the N.A.G. group. (National Association of Gals), add a dash of washed-up T.V. actor as host, and you're in business. Very little overhead! And marketing...YOU could be the next (fill in the blank) STAR! Just sing without making me dry heave, eat these eyeballs, and we'll give you your own show/movie/record deal! As much as I'm bitching about it in this rant, I wish I had thought of it.
Well, when it comes right down to it, most of these aren't "reality" shows. They're GAME shows. Come on in and do a stunt, play a game. If you win, here's some money. If you lose, go home. I actually don't have a problem with this approach to the whole thing. But it seems people today want to be "famous" no matter what. And they think they WILL be just by being on one of these shows. It seems to me that most of the people who yearn to be on these shows are merely a step up from that idiot waving his arms behind a T.V. news reporter covering some horrible event.
A little side note...HGTV, DIY, decorating shows and the like are NOT what I would consider "reality" T.V. by definition. These shows actually show you how to do stuff. They give you ideas. Dare I say inspiration? In a funny way, I would consider these shows more "reality" than the "reality shows"!
So, is it my knowledge of the entertainment process from an early age that's skewing my perspective on these shows? Is there something I'm just not seeing? Maybe I'm insulted that these people think they're gonna be (jazz hands) Big Stars and not even go through the machine known as Hollywood. Who are they fooling? Themselves? You? I just don't get it. Like I said before, maybe I'm just pissed I didn't think of it first.
Have a great day!